Shared posts

16 Sep 15:34

I Don’t Want To Dress My 11-Year Old As Sexy Oscar The Grouch For Halloween

by Laura Northrup
IKEA Monkey

Is that a "sexy" costume?

oscar the glamLast year, we brought the world’s attention to a “Naughty Leopard” costume for toddler girls at Walmart, and the product was eventually pulled from shelves. (To be honest, we were more concerned that it didn’t look like a leopard at all than the costume sexualizing young girls.) Reader Corrie has an 11-year-old daughter who wants to dress up as Oscar the Grouch, though, and she disapproves of the ready-made options.

“My daughter wants to be Oscar the Grouch this year,” she wrote. “Here are her choices.” These happen to be the choices available online from Party City, but the same costumes are available from other online and brick-and-mortar retailers, too.


“A mens’ costume that looks a lot like Oscar, but which will not fit my 11 year old…
or the girls’ costume that looks like… well, you be the judge,” Corrie wrote in her e-mail. Hmm. That costume is cute, and would probably fit her daughter, but also probably isn’t what her daughter had in mind when she said she wanted to dress up as Oscar.

The obvious solution, of course, is to make her own costume: to do that, she really only needs a garbage can and some green fabric. You could always go exceptionally low-tech, yet still be effective and include a real garbage can. It’s disappointing to try to draw inspiration from commercial costumes and see that the only version available for a costume is a “girly” version that doesn’t look much like Oscar at all. The girls’ costume isn’t indecent, but it’s not on-theme either. (Of course, it is grossly inappropriate if you live in a place where it could be snowing on Halloween and you need to plan costumes accordingly.)

15 Sep 22:27

Urban Outfitters Sorry You Were Offended By “Blood-Spattered” Kent State Sweatshirt

by Chris Morran
IKEA Monkey

Wow, UO, you are dicks

(via @paleofuture)

(via @paleofuture)

Last night, Urban Outfitters took a lot of heat for selling a “Vintage Kent State Sweatshirt” on its website that looked like it was splattered in blood. To some, this seemed like a disturbing, reference to the infamous 1970 incident at the Ohio school in which National Guard members fired on unarmed protesters, killing four. But according to the retailer this is all a big misunderstanding.

In a statement posted to Twitter, Urban writes:

Urban Outfitters sincerely apologizes for any offense our Vintage Kent State Sweatshirt may have caused. It was never our intention to allude to the tragic events that took place at Kent State in 1970 and we are extremely saddened that this item was perceived as such. The one-of-a-kind item was purchased as part of our sun-faded vintage collection. There is no blood on this shirt nor has this item been altered in any way. The red stains are discoloration from the original shade of the shirt and the holes are from natural wear and fray. Again, we deeply regret that this item was perceived negatively and we have removed it immediately from our website to avoid further upset.

Around the same time as UO was apologizing, the leadership at Kent State were declaring their disgust.

“We take great offense to a company using our pain for their publicity and profit,” reads a statement from the school. “This item is beyond poor taste and trivializes a loss of life that still hurts the Kent State community today.”

Urban has removed the shirt from its website, but at least one person claimed to be selling it on eBay, though that listing has since been removed.

15 Sep 14:48

Newswire: Burger King Japan has a burger as black as your soul

by Sean O'Neal

Hey, how’s your cheeseburger? Probably feeling generally optimistic about things? Probably a very “go with the flow” kind of cheeseburger. Probably situated on vaguely brownish buns, topped with cheese that’s some shade of waxy yellow, because it’s one of America’s many happy-go-lucky idiots, blithely ignorant of the pain of its ancestors. At Burger King Japan, the cheeseburger is black—all black, from bun to cheese and back again, like the starless night we are doomed to wander in this illusory life. Yours is a sunlit, beige cheeseburger world. You are living a lie.

As Kotaku reports, Burger King’s new, even more despairing spin on the “Kuro Burger” begins rolling out in Japan later this month, and through the irritable bowels of hell thereafter. Its beef, coated in black pepper, sits on buns made of bamboo charcoal. It’s topped with an onion and garlic sauce ...

15 Sep 13:27

Underwater Puppehs!

Underwater Puppehs!

Seth Casteel is doing important work. His latest photo shoot photo shoot explores the majesty of puppies taking a dip.

He's done a few other photo sets featuring man's best friend and they're also awesome.

Submitted by: (via cuteoverload)

Tagged: dogs , photography , puppies
14 Sep 13:32

What Has Pleasantly Surprised You About Getting Older?

by Jason English
IKEA Monkey

Exponentially not giving a shit.

On Fridays, we ask a bunch of unrelated questions. Your answers help get us through the afternoon. Answer one, answer all, or ask your own question. On to this week's topics...

13 Sep 16:30

What happened? Where Am I? Where's The Cat?

What happened? Where Am I? Where's The Cat?

Squee! Spotter: ani.s4 (via

Tagged: crash , dogs , puppies
12 Sep 17:07

Janelle Monáe Teaches Sesame Street the Power of Perseverance

by Madeleine Davies
IKEA Monkey

I love her

Burt can't sing the right notes. Cookie Monster can't bake the right cookies. Elmo can't do math. That is, until a tuxedo-clad Janelle Monáe arrives on Sesame Street to teach them "The Power of Yet."


12 Sep 02:26

Newswire: Hannibal will have a lot more Gillian Anderson (not in the cannibal sense)

by Sean O'Neal
IKEA Monkey

Yessss I love this show and ugh cannot WAIT for it to be back

You will soon be seeing a lot more of Gillian Anderson on Hannibal, and not because she’s putting on weight so as to be juicier and more delicious when she’s inevitably eaten. TV Line reports that Anderson has been upped to a series regular role for her psychiatrist character, the very psychiatrist-ly named Bedelia du Maurier, who is expected to make far more frequent appearances in the upcoming third season. Of course, this was already teased in the season two finale, which [spoiler] saw her absconding on a jet, seated next to Hannibal Lecter. Meanwhile, Bryan Fuller confirmed at Comic-Con that the third season would pick up a year later and feel like “a pilot for new series starring Mads Mikkelsen and Gillian Anderson.” With Anderson confirmed to be around more, now we know that said series doesn’t involve Mads Mikkelsen backpacking through Europe, slowly eating pieces ...

11 Sep 17:32

Newswire: R.I.P. Richard Kiel, Jaws from the James Bond movies

by Sam Barsanti
IKEA Monkey

Aw, he was a memorable dude.

As confirmed by TMZ, actor Richard Kiel has died. He was 74. He reportedly suffered a broken leg last week and had been in a hospital since then, but it’s unknown at this time if that was a contributing factor in his death.

His career lasted over 50 years—and despite a memorable appearance in The Twilight Zone’s “To Serve Man” episode—his most iconic role is certainly that of Jaws, the metal-toothed James Bond villain who first tried to kill Roger Moore in 1977’s The Spy Who Loved Me. In a 2009 interview with Den Of Geek (via The Hollywood Reporter), Kiel said that he convinced the film’s producers to make Jaws more likable “to counteract the steel teeth” and make him more human. It worked out so well that he was asked to return two years later for 1979’s Moonraker, a movie that ...

11 Sep 04:19

Recipes From Chiang Mai: Yum Jin Gai (Spiced Chicken Soup)

by J. Kenji López-Alt
IKEA Monkey

Cool weather is coming. Soon it will be soup time and I will be making this.

Think of the best chicken soup you've had: steaming hot, rich, comforting, and soul-satisfying to the core. Now add to that the complex fragrance of fresh Thai herbs like lemongrass, galangal, a sweet shallots. And wait, we're not done yet! To that base, add a big fat pinch of warm Northern Thai spices and you're starting to get an idea of what yum jin gai is all about. Read More
11 Sep 01:41

Baby Bear Playing On A Golf Course Is The Only Video Of A Bear You Need To Watch Today

by isaacand

For the second time this week, a bear has our attention for doing something completely stupid and completely amazing. Just look at him, look how much goddamn fun he’s having. This is like when I was little and somebody gave me that stupid ice cream cone with the ball. And I sat there for hours playing with it. And it was just the same thing over and over and over.

This bear is me. I am this bear. We are one and the same.



Filed under: Sports, Web Culture Tagged: bear on golf course, bear video, BEARS
11 Sep 01:38

Find a Sold Out Hotel’s Cancellation Penalty Date to Score a Room

by Heather Yamada-Hosley on Wayfarer, shared by Andy Orin to Lifehacker
IKEA Monkey

Ooh, the Palmer House!

Find a Sold Out Hotel’s Cancellation Penalty Date to Score a Room

Sometimes you want to stay at a certain hotel only to find out it is completely booked. Wendy Parrin at Conde Nast Traveler recommends finding out their cancellation policy and snagging a room that someone else lets go.


10 Sep 23:34

Oscar de la Renta, for the Sugary Sweet Country Club Princess in You

by Dodai Stewart
IKEA Monkey

I think I had these outfits for my Barbie back in the 80s

Oscar de la Renta, for the Sugary Sweet Country Club Princess in You

Spring 2015, as far as Oscar de la Renta is concerned, is much like the Spring of the mid-fifties: Fit-and-flare shapes, pretty-as-a-picture pastel hues, and a general sense of optimism.


10 Sep 04:41

#422 Hanging on

by nkspas

We’re all pretty much the same.

Packed tightly in our skintight skin is a bumpy clump of slippery organs and brittle bones. Yes, you’re a pile of bones, I’m a bucket of blood, you’re a slab of muscle, I’m a chunk of chub. And no matter what we got squeezing through our veins, zooming through our brains, and dripping out our drains, one big thing just always remains.

We’re all pretty much the same.

We’re all pretty much the same.

We’re all pretty much the same.

Baby brains buzz and little eardrums pop, baby lungs breathe deep and little eyelids flop, but as we grow up and grow older maybe we start letting differences be our guide, start choosing our own adventures, start carving paths and curving wide. We settle into ourselves, settle into our skin, settle into our lives, and find the comforts within…

We grow up, we grow older, some grow hotter, some grow colder. We focus on our tastes, on our preferences and our choices, we find our kinds of friends, we read our kinds of voices. We might cut deep paths, we may turn others away, we may deepen our divides, we may have nothing nice to say.

But way down deep in our stomachs, way down deep in our hearts, we can always remember that no matter which way we turn, which lessons we learn, which bridges we burn…

We’re all pretty much the same.

We’re all pretty much the same.

No matter what money we earn, what chances we churn, what choices we spurn…

We’re all pretty much the same.

We’re all pretty much the same.

Because we’ve all got cracks and chips, we’ve all got sores and scratches, we’ve all got doubts and dreams, we’ve all got hearts with patches. We laugh and cry, we soar and sink, we go up and down, we stop and think. Behind your favorite things, behind your bestest friends, behind your fears and doubts… we’re all waiting here again.

We’re all in this big show together.

We’re all singing the same song.

We’re all walking into the future.

As we all keep hanging on.


Check out The Book of Awesome

Photos from: here, here, here, here, here, and here

10 Sep 01:25

8 Antarctic Traditions

by Miss Cellania
IKEA Monkey

I want to go to Antarctica some day

While we are looking forward to autumn leaves and apple cider, Antarctica is undergoing the annual spring influx of workers for the summer. The few who stay all through the dark Antarctic winter welcome those who will swell the continent’s population for the next few months. There will be no spring flowers, no local graduations, and no autumn leaves at the bottom of the world, but despite the fact that none of the residents are permanent, there are traditions to be upheld. Many were put in place because they broke up the monotony of the cold weather, brought people together, or just plain proved to be fun. Here’s some of the traditions that the new crew of workers can look forward to.

1. Race Around the World

Photograph by Flickr user Alan Light.

Amundsen-Scott South Pole Station celebrates Christmas with a footrace, but if you want to join in on skis or a snowmobile, that’s okay, too. The annual Race Around the World is so named because runners pass through every time zone in the world as they race in a circle around the South Pole. Of course, you can do that in just a minute if you are close enough to the Pole, so to make the race interesting, a course is laid out to be a couple of miles long. The tradition began in 1979, as a South Pole adjunct to McMurdo Station’s Scott's Hut Race. Most participants run for fun, but the winner gets a great prize: a five-minute hot shower, which is a treat compared with the two minute showers residents are normally alloted.

2. Icestock Music Festival

Photograph by Flickr user sandwich.

The New Year comes in during the summer in Antarctica. It’s the perfect time for a music festival, and since 1990, that’s been Icestock at the U.S.A.'s McMurdo Station. Around a dozen solo artists and bands, all local, play for hours, accompanied by a barbecue for costumed concertgoers.

3. Moving the Pole

South Pole Station rings in the New Year with a solemn and meticulous ceremony to adjust the South Pole. The Pole is atop an ice sheet that moves slightly every year, so the marker for the South Pole drifts somewhat—about 30 feet every year. The location of the Pole is surveyed on January first, and a new marker is installed, with the flags rearranged around it. Almost everyone at the station attends the ceremony. This explains why photographs of the South Pole may vary as to its relationship with the buildings near it.

4. Scott’s Hut Race and McMurdo Marathon

Scott’s Hut Race is an annual 5.2 mile run around McMurdo and nearby Scott Base. Held in January, it’s a warm-weather race for Antarctica. Runners must circle around Discovery Hut, still in place from over 100 years ago. A couple of weeks later, the 26-mile McMurdo Marathon takes place.

5. Ross Island Cup

Photograph by Flickr user Eli Duke.

The Ross Island Cup is the nickname of an annual rugby match held between the scientists and support staff of New Zealand’s Scott Base and their American counterparts at McMurdo Station. The match is a tradition that’s been going on for 30 years now. Although McMurdo has ten times as many people as Scott, the Kiwis always win. You have to remember that rugby is not a sport Americans are all that familiar with, and some Yanks suspect that the rules are being made up on the spot. The intimidating haka doesn’t help much, either.

6. Skua

Photograph by Flickr user Eli Duke.

The skua is a scavenging bird that takes advantage of the trash and food left around the research stations of Antarctica. The bird’s name was appropriated to describe the culture of recycling at McMurdo. Since bringing in supplies and taking out waste is a logistical hassle on the continent, recycling is crucial. Instead of carrying polar equipment home, many workers leave things behind, which are “Skuaed” by those remaining. Items are traded around in the dorms, or else they go to Skua Central, a shack where unwanted items are sorted to be recycled, such as worn out clothing made into rags, or picked up by other residents who can use them. Clothing, hats, boots, outerwear, cosmetics, and even food items find a new home out of Skua Central. Skua culture is such a part of Antarctic living that it stays with people even after they go home.

7. 300 Club

You can join the 300 Club if you are healthy, daring, and a little insane. The number comes from enduring an atmospheric difference of 300 degrees Fahrenheit, which is possible some days at Amundsen-Scott South Pole Station. On a day when the temperature outside dips to 100 below zero, you warm up in a 200-degree sauna, then run around the South Pole wearing nothing but shoes. Try not to slip and fall. If you survive, you are a member of the most exclusive club in the world. At McMurdo Station, the temperature outside doesn’t get that cold, but you can prove yourself worthy of the 200 Club, by streaking around a building to endure a temperature difference of 200 degrees.

8. Midwinter Day

Photograph by Flickr user booka17.

To those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, the summer solstice in June is the point at which the sun is the farthest north in relation to the earth in the entire calendar year. For those near the South Pole, it is the point where the sun is hidden the farthest from them, in the middle of a four-month-long night. But it also marks the turnaround point where the southern part of the earth will begin to turn toward the sun. That’s a cause for celebration, so Midwinter Day is a holiday for those overwintering in Antarctica. Traditions include a communal feast and greetings from the rest of the world, including the national leaders of those stationed at the bottom of the world. At the South Pole Station, the most isolated post in winter, there is an annual screening of the movie The Shining, as part of a scary movie marathon.

Antarctica Time lapse: A Year on Ice

The various stations in Antarctica have other special occasions throughout the year. See pictures of McMurdo’s prom, Christmas party, art show, Halloween party, Icestock, Freezing Man, and more here and here

09 Sep 18:29

Olive Garden Offering $100 “Never Ending Pasta Pass” For 7 Weeks Of Food

by Mary Beth Quirk

pastapassNothing lasts forever, not even a $100 Never Ending Pasta Pass from Olive Garden. But that price will buy you all the pasta, salad, bread and soda you can stuff in your gullet for seven weeks from the chain eatery with its new gimmick.

Despite the name, the never endingness of the deal is limited to seven weeks for whoever holds it.

And there’s another really super big catch, besides the one that promises pasta forever — only 1,000 of the pasta passes will be sold, reports USA Today, starting today at 3 p.m. ET on the Olive Garden web site. The passes are a piggyback PR stunt that goes along with Olive Garden’s Never Ending Pasta Bowl event this month.

“What we’re trying to do is get some attention,” says Jay Spenchian, executive vice president of marketing. “It’s sure to provoke a reaction.”

If you’re dreaming of bringing all your friends out to eat on the pass, you might get a stern glance or two but no one’s going to smack that fork out of your buddy’s hand.

“Of course, if someone shares we do understand — we’re not policing the tables,” Spenchian explains, and doggie bags are fine as well.

Olive Garden: $100 for 7 weeks of pasta [USA Today]

09 Sep 18:11

Hero Navy SEAL Kind Of Made Up Story About Getting Shot By 3 Big Scary Black Guys

by Doktor Zoom
IKEA Monkey

da fuck

Chris Heben shows off his wounds from the Race War

Chris Heben shows off his wounds from the Race WarThe nice gentleman with all the stitches up there is Chris Heben, of Medina, Ohio. He is a retired Navy SEAL who approaches life with the gusto you’d expect of an American Hero, which is why he has been a frequent guest expert on CNN and Fox News. As his website explains, “Immediately following the termination of Osama Bin Laden … Chris emerged as the news media’s most featured special operations subject matter expert.”

So it should be no surprise that, just like the American Patriot Hero that he is, when Chris Heben somehow ended up with a gunshot wound to his abdomen, he completely fabricated a story about a run-in with a group of racist black thugs who almost ran over him with their sports car, taunted him and yelled profanities at him, shouting, “You got a big mouth white boy. You need to learn some f*cking respect,”* and then shot him in the stomach. Because he was such a tough guy, he then chased after the men in his car until he realized that his injuries were life-threatening, at which point he gave up and went to a fire station for help. Here’s his exciting narrative from an early story on his ordeal, right after the news broke back at the end of March this year:

How tough is Chris Heben? So tough that he didn’t even call 911, as he explained at the time. Instead, he plugged the bullet hole with his fingers and drove after the thugs so he could catch them and dispense his own brand of justice, or at least get their license plate numbers. Why?

“I wanted to keep it on the down low. At that point in time, I did an immediate physical assessment and I was still functioning. Plus, I wanted to chase after these guys. I’m aggressive,” Heben said.

Comments left on a Facebook photo of this brave hero in the hospital praised Heben for his courage and toughness, and decried the fact that he’d defended America all over the globe, only to be shot down by punk thug criminal scumbag pukes who needed to be hunted down like animals.

Sadly, Heben’s story fell apart as Bath Township police went and investigated it, rather than just going out to find some black thugs to pin charges on like they were supposed to. This is a historic problem with attacks by imaginary black people, it seems, and so Heben was charged last week with “misdemeanor counts of falsification and obstructing official business.” Among other problems with his story, the shopping center’s 6 to 12 security cameras don’t seem to have recorded the incident. Which definitely happened because he is a hero.

Police Chief Mike McNeely, who back in April expressed astonishment that someone could “serve their country and be treated like this at home,” now says that Heben is a lying liar what lies a whole lot:

“We have overwhelming evidence based upon video, cell phone records and interviews that the shooting did not occur in the West Market Plaza and that Mr. Heben made false allegations to us” [...]

McNeely acknowledged Heben suffered a gunshot wound and a brass projectile was removed from his abdomen, but officers said the investigation made it clear the shooting did not happen in the parking lot.

The chief would not speculate as to why Heben would make up an elaborate story. He also isn’t sure where the shooting happened or how.

“That’s only something he can answer,” McNeely said.

Since the charges were announced, Heben continues to get supportive messages on his Facebook page from people who simply cannot believe the police would make up such unbelievable, awful things about a True American Patriot. They urge everyone to keep a clear head and to respect Mr. Heben’s due process rights. Heben is also explaining why ISIS is the real face of Islam, because of course there are no moderate Muslims, and no Muslims have condemned ISIS. Needless to say, comments critical of Mr. Heben don’t stay up long.

Also, too, Heben also has three prior convictions for “forgery related to perscriptions [sic] of controlled substances.”

And here’s a real puzzler: Despite Heben’s previous willingness to put himself forward as an expert for TV stories about brave special operators and security and why no Navy SEAL would ever vote for Obama or for Hillary (because Benghazi), he hasn’t answered a single Ohio media outlet’s request for an interview since he was charged. Go figure!

* This quote seems to originate with, which cites WEWS as its source, but the line does not appear in the current web version of the news story or in the video.

[ / WEWS-TV (3/31/2014; revised 4/4/14) / WEWS-TV (9/4/14) / Heavy / WKYC-TV / RawStory / Story via tip from Wonkette Operative "KS"]

09 Sep 17:33

Meme Watch: The Internet Gave EA’s Madden GIFerator The Ol’ Razzle Dazzle

by ludditeandroid
IKEA Monkey

This thing is ridiculous and I love it

If you thought the new Madden NFL 15 video game couldn’t get any sillier after the tiny Christian Kirksey glitch, strap in. EA either completely underestimated how silly the internet can get, or they entirely counted on it. They created Madden GIFerator, a website where you create your own captioned GIFs by choosing animated players and backgrounds, then add your own text. Even though many words are banned, there are workarounds and plenty of absurd captions which aren’t off limits. Consider us razzle dazzled.

EA’s Madden GIF generator was also underwritten by the NFL and Google, who should have seen this coming. You could say this promotion has backfired, or you could say they had to know exactly what they were doing. After what happened with Lay’s Do Us A Flavor and Pacific Rim‘s Jaeger designer, companies seeking to crowdsource free viral content would be wise to just roll with it when we oblige with maximum snark.

Our favorite Madden GIFerator entries are collected below, with each source credited under the bottom left corner of the GIF. Thanks to Polygon for the assist.

Boys becoming men. Men becoming wolves.

madden-gifs-meme-maddengiferator-35a madden-gifs-meme-maddengiferator-35b
madden-gifs-meme-maddengiferator-35c2 madden-gifs-meme-maddengiferator-35d2
madden-gifs-meme-maddengiferator-35e madden-gifs-meme-maddengiferator-35f
madden-gifs-meme-maddengiferator-35g madden-gifs-meme-maddengiferator-35h
madden-gifs-meme-maddengiferator-35i madden-gifs-meme-maddengiferator-35j


Filed under: GammaSquad, Sports, Web Culture Tagged: .lol, crowdsourcing, EA, Football, gifs, GOOGLE, HEAT, INTERNET: SERIOUS BUSINESS, madden, Madden 15, MADDEN GIFERATOR, Madden NFL 15, meme watch, MEMES, NFL, NFLPA, THIS WILL SURELY END WELL, TUMBLR, video games
09 Sep 16:44

Caption This Pic of Arnold Schwarzenegger Gazing At His New Portrait

by Rebecca Rose
IKEA Monkey

One of the most surreal experiences of living in California was going to the DMV to get my license renewed and having a giant portrait of Arnold Schwarzenegger staring benevolently down at me. His signature is also on my MBA as I went to a state university and he was still governator at the time.

Caption This Pic of Arnold Schwarzenegger Gazing At His New Portrait

Caption This: Former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger (L) looks at his official gubernatorial portrait with his sons Patrick (C) and Christopher (R) during an unveiling ceremony in the Rotunda of the State Capitol on September 8, 2014 in Sacramento, California. Former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger was joined by current Gov. Jerry Brown to unveil his official gubernatorial portrait at the State Capitol.


09 Sep 00:08

I Don’t Apologize For You

by Sarah
IKEA Monkey

This person has INCREDIBLE handwriting



Found by Gene Scott; San Francisco, CA

I was descending the stairs at the Civic Center BART station, when I saw this little gem stuck at the bottom of the stairs, crumpled up against the wall. I passed it, then circled back, waited until no one was around, then GINGERLY picked it up (the Civic Center BART station stairs is no place to let your hygiene guard down!) and stuck it in my bike basket. I read through it and decided to submit. It reads like it was written by a homeless person or shelter dweller to another one, and the reference to bleach suggests some IV drug use as well. I don’t know how they worked it out…I am hoping the writer’s name is “Pinstripes” but I can’t quite make it out…

09 Sep 00:07

CDC Statistics Show What Happens When You Don't Vaccinate

by Robbie Gonzalez on io9, shared by Isha Aran to Jezebel

CDC Statistics Show What Happens When You Don't Vaccinate

The latest figures: Between January 1 and August 29 of this year, nearly 600 confirmed measles cases were reported to the CDC's National Center for Immunization and Respiratory Diseases. The resurgence is the greatest the U.S. has seen since the disease was eliminated from the country in 2000.


08 Sep 13:36

Here’s Tampa Bay QB Josh McCown With A Blooper For The Ages

by isaacand
IKEA Monkey

So ya had a bad day, dropped your football, thought you had caught it but you threw it away, you had a bad day, interception, walking away with your head hung in shame, ya had a bad day

you had a bad day

Josh McCown


Quarterback attributes, ranked:

1) Strong arm
2) Accuracy
3) Vision
4) Mobility
5) Good decision making

Josh McCown displayed none of those attributes on this play.

Filed under: Media, Sports Tagged: blooper, josh mccown, Tampa Bay Bucs, vines
06 Sep 17:41

Kate Bush's Home to Be Reclaimed by the Sea

by Madeleine Davies
IKEA Monkey

Would you say her house will be sliding down that hill?

Kate Bush's Home to Be Reclaimed by the Sea

The pryce of wychcraft olde and crude, the hovel of legendary songstress Kate Bush shall be reclaimed by the sea, unless she invokes the furious magicks of the ancient builders, i.e. hires construction workers to immediately reinforce the foundation of her seaside home.


06 Sep 16:36

California drought photos

by Jason Kottke
IKEA Monkey

holy shit

Getty Images photographer Justin Sullivan recently captured some photos of lakes in California showing the extent of the drought there. For me, this is the craziest one, of Bidwell Marina at Lake Oroville:

Cali Drought After

And this is what it normally looks like:

Cali Drought Before

Tags: global warming   Justin Sullivan   photography
06 Sep 15:50

CompuServe In 1994: Here, You’ll Never Outgrow 60 E-Mails Per Month

by Laura Northrup
IKEA Monkey

60 whole emails

60messagesDecades ago, our ancestors would purchase or receive in the mail “magazines,” primitive information delivery devices printed on shiny paper. Most of these magazines featured advertisements for products and services. In 1994, an ad for Popular Mechanics promoted CompuServe, a service that you could dial into with your modem. One that connected you to news, sports, weather, shopping, information, and included sixty e-mail messages per month. Sixty!

For our readers who are using mobile devices or screen readers, here’s the text of the ad:

No matter what you’re into, you can get more out of CompuServe.

You can range widely over a wide list of services that will help you, entertain you, teach you, and challenge ou. Or delve deeply into your favorite topics, learning (or even teaching) more, meeting experts, and making friends with people who share your interests.

CompuServe lets you do everything from keeping in couch with our comunication services, to getting advice from online hardware and software experts. It’s the one computer information service you won’t outgrow.

But you will have a good time trying.

For a low one-time membership fee and $8.95 a month, you can use our most popular services as often as you like: news, sports, weather, shopping, reference materials, our electronic mail service of up to 60 messages a month, and more. Plus there’s a whole universe of other, extended options available at nominal additional charges. Your first month on CompuServe will be free, and we’ll give you a $25 usage credit to explore our extended services.

To buy a CompuServe Membership Kit, see your computer dealer.

We really don’t have much to add to this advertisement, but do have to question the part about CompuServe being an online service you won’t outgrow. Then we did some idle checking, and learned that CompuServe still exists. No, really. They were purchased by powerhouse competitor AOL in 1998, news that I probably missed because I was too busy a GeoCities Community Leader at the time. We can’t figure out where to join CompuServe, but its site is still there, looking like it stepped out of 1998 straight onto the screen of my MacBook. Some of its members really never did outgrow the service since 1994, after all.

06 Sep 15:46

Cry-Baby of the Week

by Jamie Lee Curtis Taete
IKEA Monkey

The school is the crybaby; the kid is a sociopath

It's time, once again, to marvel at some idiots who don't know how to handle the world:

Cry-Baby #1: Tang Chu

An apartment building in Guizhou, China. Photo by Flickr user Quentin Scouflaire.

The incident: A kid couldn't hear the cartoon he was trying to watch because of construction work. 

The appropriate response: Deal with it.

The actual response: He tried to kill the construction worker. 

Earlier this week, a construction worker named Liu Mai was using a drill on the side of an apartment building in Guizhou, China. He was doing this while suspended 80 feet in the air from a safety harness. 

Inside the building, a ten-year-old boy named Tang Chu was reportedly trying to watch cartoons, but couldn't hear them over the sound of Liu's drilling. 

"I felt my safety rope shaking. I looked up to see what was wrong," Liu told Xinhau News according to a translation by Shanghaiist.

"Then I saw the boy cutting the rope with a knife. I shouted at him to stop, but he didn't listen, and soon after, the rope was broke," he added.

He was left hanging on to a second rope for 40 minutes until firemen and police were able to pull him to safety. 

"I was petrified," said Liu 

The boy's father, Tang Peng, said the boy received a telling off and "has promised he will not do something similar again." 

The family is also reported to have bought Liu a new rope, which was nice of them. 

Pictures of the incident can be viewed here

Cry-Baby #2: Oakleaf High School

The incident: A girl violated her school's dress policy.

The appropriate response: Giving her a detention or sending her home to change or something. 

The actual response: She was forced to wear an outfit with "DRESS CODE VIOLATION" written across it in giant letters.

Last week, on what was her third day at Oakleaf High School in Orange Park, Florida, 15-year-old Miranda Larkin was told by a teacher that her skirt was too short. 

The school's dress code states that students' skirts must be knee length. As you can see from the above photo, Miranda's was not. She says that, because she was new at the school, she wasn't familiar with the skirt-length rule. 

Miranda was sent to the school nurse's office, where she was told she would have to put on a different outfit. "They told me I was going to have to change and put on the dress-code violation outfit," she told ABC News. 

The "dress-code violation outfit" turned out to be a bright yellow shirt with "DRESS CODE VIOLATION" written across the front, and red sweatpants with the same words written on the leg. 

According to Miranda, she was told that the idea behind the outfit is to shame students into not violating the dress code again. "The school has said this is to embarrass you," she said. "It's supposed to embarrass you so you don't do it again."

"She put on the outfit in the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror and just broke down. She started sobbing and broke out in hives," Dianna Larkin, the girl's mother, told FCN. Which may have been a bit much. 

Also speaking to FCN, a spokesperson for the school said that students who violate the dress code are given the choice of staying in their clothes and going to in-school suspension, having a parent bring them a change of clothes, or wearing the dress-code violation outfit.

Miranda denies that she was given those choices. “Those options aren’t presented to you,” she said. “People who have asked if they can call home for a change of clothes have been told no.”

Miranda's mother plans to file a complaint with the Federal Educational Rights and Privacy Act, as she says the punishment violated her daughter's right to privacy. 

Which of this lot is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this poll down here, pleaaaaase:

Who is the bigger cry-baby?

Previously: A woman who allegedly set fire to a house because she didn't like the children that lived there vs. some people who sent a guy to prison for pirating a Vin Diesel movie

Winner: It's a draw!!!

Follow Jamie Lee Curtis Taete on Twitter

06 Sep 15:33

Cheese Makers In Switzerland Fight Counterfeits With Secret Bacteria

by Laura Northrup

(Rusty Clark)

(Rusty Clark)

Did you know that counterfeit Swiss cheese is a problem? It certainly is if you’re a cheesemaker in Switzerland. Industry experts recently estimated that as much as 10% of all Emmental cheese (that’s the pale yellow cheese with holes in it that Americans usually refer to as “Swiss” cheese) sold outside of Switzerland was fake: not made in Switzerland. How are the Swiss protecting their cheese industry, which has exports in the hundreds of millions of dollars? DNA tests.

Cheese DNA tests? Yes, cheese-makers in Switzerland are adding secret microbes to their products to prevent fakes. Bloomberg Businessweek reports that it took ten years for government scientists to find bacterial markers that would be detectable in the cheese after aging, but not change the texture or flavor in any way.

What it allows the government to do is perform spot checks on even the smallest slices of cheese found in grocery stores abroad. Yes, miscreants who make fake Emmental and gruyère are an actual problem. If the bacterial marker isn’t there, the cheese didn’t come from an approved producer that meets the stringent rules that cheesemakers must follow in order to use the traditional names.

How to Make Sure That’s Really Swiss Cheese [Bloomberg Businessweek]

26 Aug 21:37

Every Outfit Shelley Long Wears in Troop Beverly Hills, Ranked

by Lindy West
IKEA Monkey

I love this movie and the FASHION was AMAZING

Every Outfit Shelley Long Wears in Troop Beverly Hills, Ranked

Troop Beverly Hills turns 25 this year, which is probably a quarter of the number of times I watched it as a child (exceeded only by the original Parent Trap, which is in my DNA now). So, naturally—in honor of this august occasion and because I've gone at least a decade without any Nefler the Muffler Man in my life—it was time for a re-watch!


26 Aug 21:31

Nicki Minaj's Video for 'Anaconda' Is Finally Here

by Rebecca Rose
IKEA Monkey

1) The song is basically just a Sir Mix-A-Lot remix. No biggie, whatever, BUT (butt)
2) The video is basically what Lady wishes she could have done with Twerk if she had 100x the budget.
3) Blue Balls Drake is my new favorite thing



25 Aug 16:28

Pooters, SkyMall, and Haterade - The David Rees Interview

by Chris Higgins
IKEA Monkey


Going Deep With David Rees wraps up its first season Monday night at 10pm. This show is my favorite thing of the year. That's right, my favorite thing, including food. I spoke with Rees to answer some burning questions; below is the full interview. You can also read my early review of Going Deep for more, or read our highlights from this interview if you just want the best bits.

On Pooters

(Some background: in the episode How to Climb a Tree, Rees encounters a piece of technology called a "pooter." Here's a clip that explains the situation, if you haven't seen the episode.)

HIGGINS: Do you own, or have access to, a pooter?

REES: I have the pooter that "Canopy" Meg gave me, yes.

HIGGINS: Where do you go to get a pooter?

REES: I think you can buy them online; they're not that hard to find. So I did some research after I got home, because I was like, "Is this thing really called a pooter?" And it is, but it's also called an aspirator, and you can make them yourself. It's only a few pieces of tubing, and—let me put it to you this way: It's definitely less complicated to make a pooter than to make a pipe for smoking pot. So if you can turn an apple into a pot pipe, you can definitely make a pooter. Because it's one tube, and a filter, and a glass jar, basically.

You're creating a vacuum in the jar by sucking air out of it and then the little filter or screen is just to make sure that whatever is sucked into the jar doesn't continue on into your mouth.

On Lingering Effects of the Show

(Background: in an interview with Ken Plume, Rees indicated that he may have injured his left hand while shooting the How to Shake Hands episode. The video below is not the event that led directly to the problem, but it's...related.)

HIGGINS: Is your hand still maybe broken?

REES: Yeah, I'm gonna try to go to the doctor today. I've got my Mom emailing me every day asking if I've done it. And I have not been, I've just been putting it off. I don't want to know if it's broken, I don't want to have a cast or whatever. But I'm truly going to try my best to go this afternoon and get a diagnosis.

HIGGINS: Are you genuinely good at flipping coins now? Like has that stuck with you, or is it limited to just that one particular coin? (Background: Rees flips coins a lot in the How to Flip a Coin episode.)

REES: Yeah. The coin that I used in that particular episode, that silver half-dollar from 1855, I can kill it, yeah. I can't get heads every time, but I'm definitely better at flipping coins now than I used to be.

I mean I'm not running around chasing the coin every which way. I practiced so much on that coin that I'm not sure I can apply my technique to a quarter, because the quarter is smaller and lighter, and I'm so used to this particular coin. It's like a pool player having a favorite pool cue. Yeah. I'm definitely good at it, and I know where to hit it to make it go "bing!" and all that stuff.

HIGGINS: Okay, opening doors. I actually have a small amount of door anxiety. I live in Portland and I hate the Portland airport door because it's a revolving door and I always hit it or mess it up. After watching the How to Open a Door episode, I do feel better about it, but I'm still not 100%. So my question for you is, have you conquered doors, or is there something residual where doors will always have the upper hand over you?

REES: [Laughs] Since making that episode, I have heard from a lot of people saying that episode has actually helped them, which makes us super-stoked, obviously.

I do feel better about revolving doors and I do feel better about doors with barrel hinges—you know, standard-hinged doors—and looking for the hinge. I know that if you see the barrel of the hinge, you pull on the door rather than pushing on the door.

Obviously, sometimes there's a situation where you can't glean enough visual information from the door, or you're rushed, or you're in a crowd and so you can't control your pace walking through a revolving door. So yeah, in certain cases it can be as nightmarish as it ever was. Overall, under relatively calm conditions, I find opening a door less anxious than I used to, because of the experts who helped me in that episode.

(Background: Here's a bit of the show explaining the Party Hole.)

HIGGINS: In the How to Dig a Hole episode, you dug a Party Hole on a golf course. Is the Party Hole still there? What happened to the hole after the episode?

REES: If you watch that episode, you see that Chris, the grounds supervisor, and I very carefully preserved the sod on top of the hole. We cut it off like a muffin top and moved it out of the way. When we were done [shooting the episode], he took out the piping—you know, the shoring—and filled the hole back up and then placed the grass back on top of it.

A friend who's a member of that golf club sent me a photo of it a couple months later, because it looked kinda creepy. It looks kind of like evidence of a Satanic ritual. It looks like this weird circle in the middle of the golf course that hasn't quite healed all the way. So the Party Hole is gone except in our hearts.

HIGGINS: Aside from the Party Hole, what's the deepest hole you've ever dug? I want you to think hard.

REES: When we were researching the How to Dig a Hole episode, I just went out in my garden and dug a really small hole for a while. I just wanted to remember what it was like, and what some of the issues would be, and what some of the questions would be.

So I just dug this hole. The [diameter] at the top was like 18 inches and it went down two or three feet. You understand that if a hole is really narrow, at some point you can't dig any deeper because you don't have the leverage. You also can't get an angle to actually remove the dirt from the shovel. It just slides off the head because you're basically just straight up and down with the shovel—which is why people use post-hole diggers.

Sorry, I can't think of a super crazy-deep hole that I've dug. I am by nature very skittish and very conservative.

On Travel, SkyMall, Star Wars, and Lord of the Rings

HIGGINS: You had to travel a lot for this show. Can you give me an example of something you do on an airplane or in an airport just to pass the time?


Well, one of my favorite holiday traditions, when I'm flying somewhere for Christmas, is to go to the airport ahead of time—because I love the energy of airports at holidays—and just sit around and tweet all the people that I'm looking it. And people got really into that, for some reason. I think it's just because of the spirit of the holidays.

Some people get really dressed up at the airport and some people just wear their pajamas to the airport, and I love people-watching at an airport. I love being at an airport far enough in advance that I'm not worried about making my flight, because I find that very stressful.

Another thing that I do at the airport is, I drink a ton of water. I think you're supposed to drink a lot of water before you fly, right? So I hit up the water fountain like a crazy person when I'm at the airport.

HIGGINS: I know this is a weirdly detailed question, but...have you ever bought anything out of the SkyMall catalog?

REES: No [exhales loudly], I haven't. Obviously I'm familiar with SkyMall, but I've never bought anything. There was once something that I was kinda tempted to buy, it was a foot massaging thing, but...yeah, I don't mess with SkyMall.

HIGGINS: There's a bonus clip online [shown below], when you're hanging around with the pygmy Slow Loris and talking to Jandy, this Slow Loris expert. When you found out that Jandy had that Lord of the Rings ring and you asked if she got it from SkyMall...did she say whether she got it from SkyMall? The clip ended before we found out.

REES: [Laughs] Oh, I see where this is coming from. I can't remember.

So if you've seen that episode, I say everyone should do yoga, and she says, "Yeah, Yoda." And I say, "No, not Yoda, yoga." [Later,] I think she was kinda distracted because she was trying to keep her eyes on the pygmy Slow Loris, you know, just monitoring it. The conversation took this crazy turn where she's really into sci-fi, she's really into Stars Wars. We were talking about Star Wars and Yoda and then it turns to Lord of the Rings, because Daniel, the other guy at the lemur thing was like, "No one can stump Jandy on Lord of the Rings stuff," and she was wearing one of those rings.

In SkyMall they have, like, this Harry Potter junk, Lord of the Rings junk, Spiderman junk, you know, like cheap jewelry and swords and shit that you can buy from your favorite movie in SkyMall. I can't remember if she got it in SkyMall. I know the footage exists; I'd have to find out.

HIGGINS: Obviously it doesn't matter, but I'm pretty sure she got it from SkyMall because that's where you get that.

REES: Yeah, right? I don't think you buy it at Tiffany's or Cartier. I don't know.

The thing I remember about her was she had these bruises all over her arms, and I was like, "Oh, is that from the lemurs?" And she said, no, it was because she was just in a roller derby. Because she does roller derby in West Virginia. She lives in West Virginia and then comes to North Carolina to Duke to research the lemurs. And I think it's in Morgantown, West Virginia, she's in a roller derby league. I thought that was really cool. We didn't have time to put that in the episode.

On Doughnuts

(Background: Here's a video showing a snippet of the opening credits, including a donut bit, and then a deleted scene featuring "Canopy" Meg.)

HIGGINS: In the opening credits, we see you taking a bite out of a doughnut. So, did you eat that whole doughnut or just a TV bite of the doughnut?

REES: If I actually ate it?


REES: You mean swallowed it?

HIGGINS: Yeah. I know you, like, you bite it, we see that. So I can presume you probably swallowed that bite. But did you proceed to say, "Well, I've got a doughnut, and we got the shot, so I'm gonna eat this doughnut."

REES: The whole thing about doughnuts is weird. I'm not actually into doughnuts or sweets at all. It's just this thing where—I'll explain what happened. We were shooting at this mine in Colorado, for How to Dig a Hole, and the staff at the mine, before we shot, they had to give us an intro talk and a safety lecture about it, and they brought in pastries from a local bakery. And they had these doughnuts that were really bright pink with sprinkles, and I thought it would be cool to take one of these really bright, happy-looking doughnuts down into the deep, dark mine and just get a shot of me eating a doughnut in a mine. It just seemed like a cool thing to do.

And I kinda started this doughnut kick, where I felt like all of a sudden, every episode, there was a doughnut in it. Like in the How to Swat a Fly episode, when I put my hand in a container, I'm holding a doughnut [for the flies to eat]. And later, I'm slurping up a doughnut in an approximation of how flies eat.

I think in that instance, Chris, the scientist, had said, "Well, we can put some food in there and you can watch the flies eat it." And I think we thought, "Oh, we might as well do a doughnut, because flies really like sugar." So, something sweet is gonna make flies go crazy.

Then, by the time we shot that opening sequence, one of the producers was like, "Why don't you just take a bite out of a doughnut because you're just eating goddamn doughnuts all the time?" and I was like, "I don't even like doughnuts!" And we just went with it because it was this dark shot, and we thought a doughnut would be like, "Huh? What's going on?" So I probably took the bite and swallowed it, and we did it a couple of times.

By the time we were done getting that shot I had probably eaten three-quarters worth of a doughnut, which is more than enough. Doughnuts are really sweet, they're too sweet for me. I like salty things. Like I can't even talk about what I ate last night. Anything that's really dry, and crunchy, and salty—I crave that stuff.

(DIG IT: Here's footage of Rees talking about something that is neither salty nor sweet from the How to Make an Ice Cube episode.)

On Clothes and Headgear

HIGGINS: In that [opening credits] shot, you're wearing that lighted goggles apparatus that you use for pencil sharpening. Does that thing have a name?

REES: They're just magnifying goggles or magnifying glasses. You can buy them with the additional lights that attach to the lenses. Jewelers use them.

Those goggles and the black apron that I wear on Going Deep definitely come out of pencil sharpening. We decided that I should just wear the same thing all the time and have a uniform, and we decided those should be a part of it.

HIGGINS: In the show, you wear a really nice looking gray shirt—

REES: God, everyone is so into this shirt!

HIGGINS: It's a really good-looking shirt. And I'm wondering if you have, like, a creepy closet filled with dozens of this special TV shirt, you know?

REES: It's a great question, a lot of people have emailed me to ask where I got the shirt.

What happened was, we decided I would wear the same thing all the time, so they ran out and got a couple sample shirts, and I tried them all on, and that was the best one, because it was very neutral. Just very gray. We thought it would go well with the black apron and my gray hair. It's from Brooks Brothers.

Once we picked that shirt, they ran back to the store and bought the rest of them, so we wound up with only four, and we could've used some more, because I sweat a lot. [Laughs] There's a lot of shots where you can see, like, it's too bad they didn't have one more shirt he could've changed into before he shot this scene because it's poppin' off!

So we had four of those Brooks Brothers shirts, we had four pairs of bluejeans, we had four gray v-neck sweaters to wear under the shirt. And keep in mind, this stuff is constantly getting misplaced, or we don't know where something is, and we have to adjust because it's outside and it's cold, and we have to violate some rule of wardrobe by wearing a jacket or a hoodie or something.

So no, we didn't have a whole closet of those, but we had four. We obviously made the right decision, because by far, most emails I've gotten from people are just, "Where did you get that shirt?" Although yesterday, somebody emailed and said, "Where did you get that apron?"

HIGGINS: So how many aprons are there now?

REES: This was the really crazy thing. I had about four different black aprons that I had collected during my pencil sharpening thing, but I knew that none of them were quite right for what I wanted for the show, so I told them the type of apron that we needed in terms of the length of the apron and pockets—pockets were important to me. I wanted to keep notes in my pockets.

And they ran out and they found one, and that was great. For most of the shoot, we just kept track of that black apron like it was the Holy Grail. And then one day it got left at the wrong location, and then all of a sudden, we realized, oh, we should have more than one. Then we ran out and bought like six thousand black aprons.

But I was very particular, like, they would bring me a black apron that was almost right, but maybe the strap was too thin—it would look too wimpy, you know? I've been wearing a black apron now as part of the pencil sharpening project for years and years, so I know my black aprons at this point.

On Wikipedia, Cartooning, and Haterade

HIGGINS: Okay, this is a Wikipedia question. So on Wikipedia, it says that you drew comics for the Oberlin school newspaper, but that a citation is needed. As a member of the media I guess I can fix that. So can you confirm or deny that you drew comics for the Oberlin school newspaper?

REES: The paper was the Oberlin Review, it came out on Fridays. During my freshman year, at one point I was actually drawing two different comics under two different fake names in two different styles for that newspaper. I think I had two out of the three comics that were running in the comics section of the Oberlin Review. And then I did it again in my junior or senior year. I definitely did that, off and on.

I remember [that] I never put my name on the comics. I think I submitted them anonymously or gave them a fake name or something? [One day] I was sitting in the dining hall with this woman who was looking in the newspaper and she was like, "God, I can't stand this comic! It's so weird, I hate it, it just makes me mad!" And I was like, "Uhh, that's my comic."

HIGGINS: No offense, David, but I feel like your career has led to a lot of people saying that shit. Even today.

REES: You know, I've thought about that.

I was very surprised at how angry the pencil sharpening thing made people. Coming out of Get Your War On, obviously, I understand why that made people mad. Totally. And I got some very negative, ugly feedback about that, which makes sense, given that you're talking about political things that are very serious. Though [the feedback] was mostly positive.

But the pencil thing? I was surprised with the amount of Haterade that was spilled over that project.

Going Deep is not supposed to be "weird." We were trying to make a hit show that any adult could watch. I mean, we didn't expect kids or families to watch it, which is an unexpected bonus for us. But we weren't trying to be weird for weird's sake, we were just trying to—I guess this goes to my whole career. I was just trying to make myself crack up and make my friends crack up. Make the crew laugh, or make the producers laugh, or make myself laugh, just try to keep myself entertained or amused.

Going back to the comics that I made in college, I think the same thing was true. And I will say, those comics were kind of weird. [Laughs] But at that time, it was my sensibility. I just thought it was interesting, you know? I've always made things [that made me laugh], and I think most creative people have this experience.

I made this comic strip called Relationshapes, which was just geometric shapes arguing about their relationships and their feelings, and I billed it as, like, "the comic for the modern woman." Just totally goofy, silly, stupid stuff. And it would make me laugh so hard, and then my friend asked if she could run it on this website The Hairpin, and some people were totally into it and got totally obsessed with it, and other people were like, "What are you talking about? This is the dumbest, stupidest, fake-hipster-wannabe-funny bullshit I've ever read in my life. F--- this comic and f--- this guy." You know? And other people were like, "This is the funniest thing ever." You never know.

Yeah, I'm very used to it, but sometimes I am surprised. I guess I'm not that surprised. I'd love to say something like, "Yeah, I'm surprised at the negative comments on the Internet about the thing that I made." [Laughs] But it's like, you do remember what the Internet is, right? It's just a place where people spew negative comments about things.

The Finale and a Bonus Round

HIGGINS: What are your plans for the finale? A big live-tweet party at your friend's house or what?

REES: I'm in a panic: My friend who has a TV and cable is out of town, so I have to find a backup TV friend so I can watch this finale and tweet it.

The finale starts with this guy in my town named George, who owns a bar and is on the town council and is this super-friendly guy, who has a great handshake. He's sort of the star of the show because he has the best handshake in town and I want to be like him. We were talking about showing it at his bar, but his bar is actually closed on Mondays. So I dunno. In this cockamamie world, nothing ever goes right.

HIGGINS: Time for the Bonus Round. On IMDB, there's this section where it says people who liked Going Deep With David Rees ALSO LIKED these other shows. I want to run these shows by you and get just a gut reaction about whether YOU ALSO LIKE these shows. I don't care if you've seen the show, I just want a yay or a boo.

REES: All right, go for it.

HIGGINS: Brain Games.

REES: Yeah, that's NatGeo's #1 show! That's the show that's on before us, and Jason Silva's a super nice guy. Yeah, totally, I'm pro-Brain Games.

HIGGINS: Deadly Devotion.

REES: What?

HIGGINS: It's a crime TV show from 2014, and I have no further information.

REES: What's it called? Deadly Devotion? Well, it sounds like a lot of fun. So I'm gonna have to give a thumbs-up to Deadly Devotion, knowing nothing about it.

HIGGINS: Doomsday Preppers.

REES: Doomsday Preppers is another NatGeo show. I've never seen it, but the photos look amazing, and one of the Doomsday Preppers did basically dig a Party Hole that was even better than mine, so I've gotta give a shout-out to Doomsday Preppers.

HIGGINS: Garfunkel and Oates.

REES: I've never seen that, I've heard a lot of good things about those guys, but I have never actually heard their songs or seen the show, but I know it's a very esteemed show, so if people like that show and our show, I think that's good for our show. So thumbs up.

HIGGINS: So far, and this is probably about to go south, but so far this is reasonable. This algorithm works. Next up, a TV documentary called Your Inner Fish.

REES: Oh, what?

HIGGINS: Your Inner Fish.

REES: Your Inner Fish?


REES: Like a fish that's inside you?

HIGGINS: I guess.

REES: Yeah, I'm into that. I don't know what the f--- that is, but that sounds amazing.

Your Inner Fish. That's a real TV show?

HIGGINS: I guess. It says it's a TV documentary from 2014.

REES: Yeah, I'm into that.

HIGGINS: Next one, it looks like a Spanish-language show called High School of the Dead. [Ed. note: apparently it's actually Japanese.]

REES: Yes.

HIGGINS: And an as-yet-unreleased reality TV show called Die Trying.

REES: Hmm, sounds kinda grim. Unless it's "Dye" like people trying to learn how to tie-dye?

HIGGINS: There's no pun, it's just death.

REES: It's just death? I would need more information before I issue a verdict about a reality show called Die Trying.

HIGGINS: Next one is called Test Your Brain.

REES: Hmm.

It sounds like Brain Games, kind of. I'm into that, yeah.

HIGGINS: Next one is called DRAMAtical Murder, where the word DRAMA is in all caps.

REES: Listen, any time a TV show is doing something weird with capitalization or typography or punctuation marks, I'm totally into it. It's time to shake up the world with naming TV shows.

HIGGINS: Okay, this one's called Talk to the Animals.

REES: No, I hate animals. Next.

HIGGINS: It's called Fat Guys in the Woods.

REES: You can't be serious.

HIGGINS: I'm completely serious. It's the final recommendation.

REES: That's the actual name of the show, it's called Fat Guys in the Woods? What's the network?

HIGGINS: The Weather Channel.

REES: Oh! There we go. The Weather Channel has a show called Fat Guys in the Woods? Uh. That sounds like the kind of thing I would watch when I was in a hotel room, just flipping through the cable channels.

I mean it obviously depends on the personalities of the fat guys, and it depends on the biodiversity of the woods that they're in, but I can see myself enjoying that show.

Where to Watch Going Deep With David Rees

You can enjoy the fist-pumping tenth episode of Going Deep With David Rees Monday, August 25, at 10pm on the National Geographic Channel. (David typically live-tweets the episodes.) You can catch up on older episodes for free on Hulu. I like all of them, but the most brain-bending is probably How to Make a Paper Airplane. Last week's How to Climb a Tree episode is great if you like lemurs and pooters.