Phil Goetz

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Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

Today, my boss found out that my girlfriend dumped me. He asked if that meant she would no longer bring her delicious homemade cookies to the office. When I said yes, he fired me on the spot. FML

Sometimes making the background spontaneously combust is all part of being an adult.

When Life magazine ran a bunch of science photos from the previous century I perused the collection with delight, and then the last one (#37 in the stack of 37) really spoke to me. 

The caption suggested that scientists in the 1950's were pretty desperate to understand how microgravity environments might disorient astronauts.

The photo suggested a better caption. Sadly, I did not know what it was. I'm not a meme person, but I know what they are, and I know what they're for. So I posted a link to the photo, and suggested to my following on Twitter that a better caption existed somewhere, but I did not know it. 

My brother Randy Tayler did.

Happy Monday! Halloween is around the corner, and this seems to fit. And on a related note, my brother's dating website for the dead, Ghost Singles, has been getting international news coverage this year, and the chat room there is a great place to spend some quality Halloween time.

Today, I realized how bad my OCD is when I accidentally got a paper cut and I was annoyed by the fact that the cut wasn't in a straight line. FML

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

Today, I created a poster trying to raise self-harm awareness in teens for my school. They sent me to the counselor, suspended me, and recommended I go to therapy. FML

Today, I had to buy a new boxcutter for work after our old one broke. It came in a box, the type which policy requires a boxcutter to open. FML