Shared posts

18 Feb 12:57

You have nothing to lose but ennui

by Josh
Step7283

Beetle Bailey is SO DARK

This week's full-text RSS feed is supported by Scott McCloud's Understanding Comics.

Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art is probably one of the most informative introductions to how comics work, visually and narratively, ever written. Even if you've read comics for years, you'll learn something from this book.

(What's the deal with these links? Click here for info.)

***

Beetle Bailey, 2/16/14

Today’s Beetle Bailey is certainly one of the more crushingly realistic commentaries on the nature of work I’ve seen in the comics lately. Sarge, standing in for the cheerleaders of the capitalist order who don’t do much manual labor themselves, urges his underlings to think of work as a intrinsically morally uplifting act. Yet in the final panel we can see that the ordinary soldiers aren’t buying this at all. Killer, most optimistic of the bunch, at least imagines that his window-washing duties might lead to a window-washing career that involves a certain degree of specialized skill and, one would hope, cachet; still, it’s not like he can get excited about it. Plato, ever the philosopher, knows that performing an identical act in a different location isn’t really any kind of change at all. Beetle can only visualize his future life as a reeking expanse of garbage, extending endlessly to every horizon. And Zero has the most harrowing vision: he knows that nobody in the private sector will pay him even minimum wage for the menial tasks that he’s only half-mastered, and that he will certainly starve if he can’t elicit sympathy from cruel-faced strangers.

Panel from the Better Half, 2/16/14

“I suppose lips count as raw meat…

ha ha but it can’t have really said that

“I suppose lips count as raw meat…

no check again they wouldn’t dare put that in the newspaper

“I suppose lips count as raw meat…

but but is he talking about my lips everyone has lips oh my god

“I suppose lips count as raw meat…

[ENDLESS ENDLESS SCREAMING]

This post originally appeared as "You have nothing to lose but ennui" on The Comics Curmudgeon, which is the best blog on the Internet.

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17 Feb 14:22

Life in the Funkyverse literally doesn’t get any better than this

by Josh
Step7283

I love today's Pluggers.

This week's full-text RSS feed is supported by Scott McCloud's Understanding Comics.

Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art is probably one of the most informative introductions to how comics work, visually and narratively, ever written. Even if you've read comics for years, you'll learn something from this book.

(What's the deal with these links? Click here for info.)

***

Crankshaft, 2/15/14

This week’s Crankshaft “plot” has been far too inane to discuss, involving a reality show called Ice Road School Bus Drivers — it’s like Ice Road Truckers, but for school bus drivers! — filming our characters in action. The producers are no doubt disappointed that Crankshaft didn’t engage in any of the property destruction or reckless endangerment of children for which he’s so famous, but nevertheless, the new reality show stars are getting their reward today: cheap giveaway hats emblazoned with the show’s logo. The drivers’ overjoyed reaction to this is probably the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. “Life doesn’t get any better than this!” proclaims Crankshaft, a man who helped defeat the Nazis in World War II, who has children and grandchildren, who played professional baseball, who overcame his own struggles and learned to read as an adult, who helped pay for a group of underprivileged kids from his bus route go to college. “Life doesn’t get any better than this.” He pulls the ill-fitting cap tightly down onto his head.

Mark Trail, 2/15/14

“I sure hope Trail is what he says he is … for his own good! If he’s a person, like he says he is, then that’s OK! But if he’s an animal, then I’m going to have to taxidermy him. I can’t stop taxidermying animals! But wait … what if a person is a kind of animal? Oh no. Oh NO. My taxidermying fingers are gettin’ itchy!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/15/14

Well, it looks like Sarah was right to be suspicious of her editor, because her editor intends to put her in a cage and let other little kids come and gawk at her while she churns out books. This is quite frankly the best business decision anyone at the museum has made at any point during this storyline.

Mary Worth, 2/15/14

“But let’s not talk about such heavy topics now, Wilbur. Look, I’ve figured out that I can hold a full coffee cup using just my mouth! Pretty neat, huh?”

Pluggers, 2/15/14

All across America’s strife-torn inner cities, members of the Bloods and Crips put down their newspapers with stunned expressions on their faces. “Why are we fighting all the time?” they ask. “No matter what crew we roll with, we’re all pluggers. We are all pluggers.” Consider the peace increased.

This post originally appeared as "Life in the Funkyverse literally doesn’t get any better than this" on The Comics Curmudgeon, which is the best blog on the Internet.

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17 Feb 14:17

Captain Cold is Really Sorry, Atlanta [Pic]

by Lauren Berkley

Whoops. I guess it’s hard to aim properly with those glasses on…

(Cosplay by Brian K. Eason)

Captain Cold

[via The Geek Forge]

23 Jan 12:02

I mean, he has a Roman numeral in his name, come on

by Josh
Step7283

I'm so pleased that Reggie is medium rich.

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Archie, 1/19/14

Today’s Archie is a fascinating look at the ways in which our lives are structured by the financial and emotional transactions we conduct with one another. Archie and Veronica both recognize the significance of his offer to perform unpaid labor on her behalf — even though, in her case, the only people who are being helped in practice by his gallantry are the Lodge family retainers, who presumably draw their salary no matter how much work they do on any given day. And yet generous and specific gestures aren’t the only components of an intimate life; there’s also the intangible qualities of just spending time together, as Reggie understands, to his benefit. In fact, this scenario immediately made me curious: does Reggie have the upper hand in reading this situation because he, like Veronica, is part of Riverdale’s leisured class? A quick search on Google proved that I wasn’t the only one wondering:

According to Comic Vine, Reggie is “medium rich,” a formulation that I find refreshingly frank. Reggie’s family probably refers to themselves as “upper middle class.” Let’s all support Comic Vine in its quest to establish a new, more honest vocabulary for America’s economic structure!

Judge Parker, 1/19/14

Speaking of rich people, here’s Judge Parker Senior fooling around with a deadly boa constrictor. “Ha ha, I’m a best-selling author, pillar of the community, and multimillionaire! This snake wouldn’t dare strangle me!”

Funky Winkerbean, 1/19/14

I can’t remember the details at the moment, but that park bench has Special Significance to Les and Dead Lisa — I think he proposed there, or she told him she had cancer there, or all of the above? It’s depressing, whatever it is, obviously. The question: is the bench Les’s permanent phone background wallpaper, which would explain why Cayla looks so emotionally numb in panel four, or does it just appear when Summer calls, which would explain why she’s so full of rage and frustration that she can’t fully explain?

This post originally appeared as "I mean, he has a Roman numeral in his name, come on" on The Comics Curmudgeon, which is the best blog on the Internet.

22 Jan 13:46

If you're sick of Garfield and Mary Worth

by MartinWisse
Step7283

How could anyone be sick of Mary Worth?

If the funnies in your local paper have gotten you down, with their limited space and xeroxed gags, why not take the wayback machine to the Golden Age of newspaper strips, courtesy of Gocomics' Origins of the Sunday comics? Started July last year and curated by Peter Maresca, it shows off how sophisticated and beautiful the American comic strip was almost from its birth in the 1890ties .
07 Jan 22:14

Are You Ready to Rock?: Making Puns with The Rock [Pics]

by Geeks are Sexy

rockpaper1

Redditor MariettaLittlelamb recently stated using a life-size cardboard version of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to make all sorts of funny puns with the poor man. She then took pictures of her experiment for the world to see! Here are some of our favorites:

rock-crock

rock-watch

rock-jingle

rock-slide

You can check our imgur.com for plenty of other pics!

[Via Neatorama]

07 Jan 21:50

All Last Week, This Comic Strip About a Black Family Poked Fun at Fundamentalist Christianity

by Hemant Mehta

Usually, a newspaper’s comic page isn’t my go-to place for stories about religion but there was a fascinating storyline last week in Ray Billingsley‘s “Curtis,” a strip about an African-American family.

The premise was that the “most religious woman in the world” was coming to babysit Curtis and his little brother Barry (you can see the full storyline here — a couple of the strips are below):

I’m not used to seeing (even fundamentalist) religion mocked with such ease in a comic strip, and I was especially surprised to see it happening in a strip revolving around a black family where church is usually as much a part of the culture as anything else.

I was really curious what led to this storyline and whether Billingsley got any negative pushback from readers. He was kind enough to respond to my questions via email.

On how the story developed:

The sitter, Ms. Claibourne, is based on a woman I knew in my neighborhood growing up. Whatever the topic I noticed she would turn it into something about God and his vision or his will or whatever. She was doggedly stubborn about anything that didn’t meet with her interpretation of the scriptures. I remember getting quite annoyed at times just listening to her. I’m not really a talker, I don’t have the gift of gab, but I do listen to what others have to say and sometimes it fits within the strip.

On the feedback from readers:

There were a few comments from readers on The Comics Kingdom site. It’s a site where readers can check out their favorite King Features strips daily and make their thoughts known. Mine happens to be one where they write everyday, so I find out rather quickly where their minds are at. Usually they’re funny, silly little notes so I figure they’re having a little fun. Sometimes they disagree with each other. At times they worry about a character, almost as if they are real people. I find it all interesting and I’m glad that they care.

On the strip’s reflection of the black church:

Growing up within the Black church — and sometimes working behind the scenes — I have discovered the hypocrisy that [lingers] therein. Some were the worst people to know. Some were actually nice people. I do like to poke fun at times, especially with the hats the ladies wear. If anything I would say that these sort of strips speak on the absurdity of Man within their faith(s). I know I’m telling the truth because no one has ever told me otherwise. I write only what I know about or have experienced first-hand. They say that the church is a place where everyone is accepted and I’ve found out that isn’t always true. I’ve heard people speak vicious gossip about others and if a person didn’t fit exactly into their view they were ostracized. It’s always been a place of double standards.

Curtis feels all this can be unnecessary and overblown. He gets exasperated by her actions but he puts up with it. He can be vocal about his feelings but at most times his is overlooked or downright ignored. I think my strips resonate with a lot of people because they see a truth I am getting at that other strips cannot delve into.

That’s some heavy stuff to put in a daily comic strip, but Billingsley found a way to do it without being offensive and while still keeping a smile on readers’ faces. Very impressive.

07 Jan 14:21

A Reminder For the New Year: Batman Returns… [Pic]

by Geeks are Sexy

batman-returns

[Via PJ]

07 Jan 14:00

Metapost: New Year COTW!

by Josh
Step7283

Amazing card!

Ads by Project Wonderful! Your ad could be here, right now.

Hey, all, I have some comments of the admittedly truncated week for you, but first, a few items that I maybe should’ve gotten out of the way when I did my recap but oh well let’s do them now! First, I am on a new social media thingie, if you care about that: Instagram! You can follow me at joshreads there. Mostly it’ll be pics of random things I find funny/pretty, occasional horrifying comics panels, and very rare self-promotion. And then there are the other ones I’ve been on that you may or may not know about: Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, and Google+.

In non-self-promotion news, I have received an anecdote and some charming images from a faithful reader who wishes to remain anonymous:

I’m a reporter for a small newspaper. Every so often, cartoonists will send newspapers customized artwork to thank them for running their strips, which is a nice gesture, because the rights to newspaper comics are astonishingly expensive. If I’m not mistaken, our usual comics package costs nearly four grand per quarter.

My editor has collected a few of these pieces of art over the years, including a personalized autograph from Cathy (not Cathy Guisewite, but the titular noseless wonder herself). Friday at work, I was pleasantly surprised to find this Christmas card from Tom Batiuk in our office. I was particularly surprised since our paper doesn’t run either Funky Winkerbean or Crankshaft.

On the lovingly rendered card, the viewer gets to witness Ed Crankshaft and Funky Winkerbean fighting over a Christmas tree like the miserable bastards that they are. Inside, we see that they have somehow managed to tear the tree in half with their bare hands. They have each taken half, and this perversion of the wisdom of King Solomon has left them briefly contented.

And, finally, faithful reader Wanders, proprietor of the beloved and amazing Mary Worth and Me blog, has put up the nominations for the 2013 Worthy Awards, and you can vote! Vote for Outstanding Floating Head, Most Beautiful Use of Nature, etc.!

And now, with that out of the way: Your comment of the week.

“Not now, Dennis. I’m watching the Delicate Ankle Bowl.” –Doctor Handsome

And your runners up! Very funny!

“Hey, when you enlarge panels of Mary Worth, you can see the terrifying madness lurking behind the cracks in our reality! Fun!” –Majicou

No, Margo, something much better: I learned how to turn Lu Ann into a handsome silver fox! Happy New Year!” –Chip

“I’d like to propose that As Friends Relax be the new title for this strip. It would take a lot of pressure off the writer to keep coming up with, you know, plots and stuff.” –Joe Blevins

“Obvs the Professor has been aged down to jump on this ‘hipster’ wagon that the creators have heard so much about. Hipsters have chin beards, right? And dark, soulless black eyes?” –Amber

“Not digging Tommie’s new hairdo” [next comment] “Either of them” –cooby

“They’re playing a sport where there’s a move called the finger-roll layup, and the best basketball-themed innuendo-about-your-sister they can come up with is, ‘nice moves?’ I don’t know if Gil can reach these kids. I don’t know if he should even try.” –Dan

“I’ve been very much off the grid for the holidays, so I’m only now getting back into checking in with Spider-Man. Not entirely sure what the setup was here though I’m going to assume that J. Jonah Jameson found an old discarded Iron Man suit which Tony Stark threw away due to all the radiation leaks it emitted. The bubbling tumors on the side of Jameson’s head in panel 2 verify my suspicions.” –Chareth Cutestory

“Mr. Jameson … you do know we don’t always have to Skype these things, right? It’s just … you do know you can wash a moustache, Mr. J, right? Just a little water, some shampoo? I’m sure it would look a thousand times better! Also, I’m questioning your decision to put this camera directly in Manbots anus, but there’s no real delicate way to put that.” –Tophat

“Dennis asks Henry to play with him only because all the batteries are dead. When Alice gets home, she will ask him the same thing just for the same reason.” –seismic-2

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

This post originally appeared as "Metapost: New Year COTW!" on The Comics Curmudgeon, which is the best blog on the Internet.

07 Jan 13:34

Town Councilman Writes Resignation Letter in Klingon

by John Farrier

I cannot say qapla' (success), but neither can I say jey (defeat). Sometimes the best victory is to walk away from a bad situation. That may be how David Waddell is looking at it. Until four days ago, he was a town councilman in Indian Trail, North Carolina.

He got fed up with how politics was conducted, so he resigned. His letter was short, to the point and written in Klingon--a language spoken in the Star Trek universe.

General Martok (left), who is currently an elected official in Ulysses, New York, could not be reached for comment.

-via 22 Words

18 Dec 13:25

These Hidden Batman Graffiti Are Spectacular [Pics]

by Geeks are Sexy

batman-graf-4

Imgur user sneakylawyer stumbled on these fantastic Batman grafitti somewhere in an old abandoned building in Ronse, Belgium. The only thing known about the artist is that he signs his art with “Pete One.”

batman-graf-4 batman-graf-1 batman-graf-5 batman-graf-3 batman-graf-2 batman-graf-6 batman-graf-7

[Via Geek Tyrant | Imgur]

16 Dec 23:33

“I ate at this great Italian place in Times Square called ‘the Olive Garden’”

by Josh
Step7283

One of the great Heathcliffs.

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Mary Worth, 12/16/13

Oh goodie, Mary is hitting the “NEW YORK IS THE GREATEST CITY IN THE WORLD” fugue state many visitors achieve when they’ve been there for a few days, assuming they haven’t been permanently turned off by the density or the people or the smell. Look at how blissfully happy she is shoving that delicious cheese ’n’ grease triangle into her grinning teeth in panel one! We all know she won’t have the nerve to actually up and move to New York, but look for her to sigh theatrically and talk about how everything in Santa Royale is so lame compared to New York for weeks after she gets back. (She’ll be right.)

Marvin, 12/16/13

I guess “Elf Marvy” is supposed to be Marvin’s dream elf name, à la Hermey the Elf from the Rankin-Bass Rudolph special? Or maybe “Marvy” is just the cool nickname that he’s always wanted but nobody will give him, because it has the same number of syllables as “Marvin” and also nobody likes him enough to give him a nickname. Anyway, Marvin this week will be relentlessly hammering home some dumb joke where Santa Claus becomes one of the Duck Dynasty people, so brace yourself for that.

Heathcliff, 12/16/13

I’m not sure what possible interpretation of this cartoon is more unsettling: that Heathcliff is going to fuck this cupcake, or that he’s going to eat it, with the visual tropes of romance being a metaphorical lead-in to eating it.

This post originally appeared as "“I ate at this great Italian place in Times Square called ‘the Olive Garden’”" on The Comics Curmudgeon, which is the best blog on the Internet.

20 Nov 22:26

The Twin Peaks Fashion Line

by Jill Harness
Step7283

OMG ISAAC!

Looking to dress up in something as fabulously mysterious and beautiful as David Lynch's television masterpiece Twin Peaks? Then maybe you could check out the new Twin Peaks fashion line from Suckers Apparel. This dress in particular is inspired by the famous Welcome to Twin Peaks sign that was shown in the show's opening credits, but there are other outfits inspired by the show's characters such as Laura Palmer and Audrey Horne.

Of course, the most excitingly nerdy item in the new line is the Log Lady leggings.

Via The Mary Sue

11 Oct 00:03

TV: Newswire: NBC to finally make that show about a sassy robot... who's been accused of murder

by Mike Vago
Step7283

It was made for me!

NBC's latest pilot order is for Tin Man, which, despite the name, is one of the rare pilots next season that isn't a horrible reimagining of the Wizard Of Oz. Instead, it's a "psychological thriller" about a fugitive robot accused of murder, and the human public defender who comes to his aid. Set in the near future, a dystopian hellscape where robots have their own lawyers, the show was created by Ehren Kruger, who co-wrote every Transformers movie but the first (and the cartoon one with Orson Welles eating everything in sight. And also playing a planet-sized robot who eats everything in sight. Thank you, we'll be here all week, try the veal!)

Besides the central murder mystery, Tin Man plans to explore the possible legal rights of artificial intelligence, and cybernetics' role in the future of humanity's evolution (not unlike Fox's upcoming Almost ...

Read more
    






10 Oct 12:25

Ministry of Silly Walks Watch

by Tiffany
Step7283

This watch is silly! I like that.

Ministry of Silly Walks

Does your silly walking interfere with your ability to be on time? Get the kind of support you need to plan your schedule accordingly with the Ministry of Silly Walks watch from the NeatoShop. This fantastic watch is designed with Monty Python fan's in mind. The hour hand is a straight leg. The Minute hand is a bent leg. The second hand is a hand holding a cane. It is a perfectly silly way to keep the time. 

Be sure to check out the NeatoShop for more great Watches

Link

07 Oct 13:58

10/06/2013

by billamend
Step7283

Isaac!

10/06/2013

02 Sep 03:28

Librarianship: The Role-Playing Game

by John Farrier

Tumblr user Yitzus came across this amazing find:

LOOK WHAT I FOUND! A TABLETOP LIBRARIAN GAME! WHO NEEDS DUNGEONS AND/OR DRAGONS WHEN YOU COULD BE FILLING OUT BUDGET SHEETS, DEALING WITH DRUNKEN PATRONS, AND FILING FOR GOVERNMENT AID!

What is this thing? Well, I logged into the library database WorldCat and did a search. This is a game published by the consulting firm Harwell Associates in 1977. It's designed to simulate the experience of a library director.

It's fun! I'm already a third-level cataloger/mage. The encumbrance rules are a pain, but we are talking about 70s-era data storage.

Link -via Breda Fallacy

16 Aug 10:56

A Newspaper Accidentally Switched the Captions for The Far Side and Dennis the Menace. Twice.

by John Farrier

On two occassions, the Dayton Daily News accidentally switched the captions for Gary Larson's The Far Side and Hank Ketcham's Dennis the Menace. They should have done this more often! The alterations definitely work.

Link -via reddit

14 Aug 01:23

Charting The Comic Book Universe with Super Graphic

by Shawn Depasquale
Step7283

Isaac, I know you said you dont like infographics, but Glen Wheldon told us to read this!

If there’s one thing the Internet loves more than hilarious pictures of cats being adorable, it’s having their favorite obsessions broken down into easy-to-digest visual charts called Infographics. Far and away the master of these OCD-inspired tabulations of pop culture is a man named Tim Leong – a graphic designer for, among others, Wired Magazine, and currently for Fortune Magazine. Proving he’s at the top of his game, he’s released a book of infographics dedicated to all things comic book related called Super Graphic: A Visual Guide To The Comic Book Universe, and it’s gloriously geeky!

SuperGraphic_Mechs_v4.inddLeong is not here to mess around, and he wastes no time breaking out the graphics, as the book opens with a bubble graph table of contents that breaks down all the various types of charts he’s going to use in the book. You guys, did you know there are a TON of charts you can use to make graphics on data? Well, there are, and they’re all used in some form by Leong, from Pie charts to timelines to polar area charts (WHAT?!). If Leong was a Batman villain, his name would be The Charter (because he uses charts to… oh, never mind).

SuperGraphic_Mechs_v4.inddIf superheroes aren’t your thing, worry not: Leong makes sure to include all manner of comic-related goodness, not content to merely graph things like The Periodic Table of Metal Men or a graph chart depicting the life expectancy of the various characters in the Walking Dead comic. He also includes a diagram called Assorted Peanuts that details the various relationships, familial connections and romances in the world of everyone’s favorite little boy with bi-polar issues, Charlie Brown. Another personal favorite of ours is a graph that breaks down the awesome amounts of awful alliteration Archie Comics have used over the years (Archie Andrews, Patti Pacer, Sandy Sanchez… you get the idea). Whatever your pleasure, if it’s comic-based, you’re sure to find it graphed and charted within these pages.

Among the vast amounts of nerd-trivia you’ll absorb from reading Super Graphic: Scrooge McDuck has more money than Richie Rich, Tony Stark, and all of LexCorp. You’ll also find helpful graphs like the proper way to read an American comic vs. the proper way to read a Japanese Manga (right to left). Of course, there is also a circle 90% shaded a familiar green with the bottom 10% shaded purple, giving a visual representation of The Hulk’s bare skin to costume ratio and proving that it’s not all a serious numbers game to Leong.

Super Graphic is a fantastically entertaining, flawlessly designed coffee table book, one of the few of its kind that demands to be read cover to cover, if only to finally settle the age old question of Who’s Faster: Superman or the Flash? Find the answer to that burning question and so many more only in that pages of Tim Leong’s Super Graphic.

By Tim Leong
Published by Chronicle Books
$18.95
Tim Leong founded and edited the Eisner Award–nominated magazine, Comic Foundry. He has worked at  Complex and WIRED magazines and is currently Design Director at Fortune magazine. He lives in New York City.
12 Aug 17:01

Saturday Vids: Camp Gyno

by Julie Z
Step7283

I love this so much.

Chances are, you’ve seen this viral video — a tampon ad that refuses to fall victim to the shame and secretiveness of most “feminine product” ads. But just in case you haven’t, it’s required viewing. Thanks, HelloFlo, for putting this out into the world!

16 Jul 20:46

Film: Movie Review: My Little Pony: Equestria Girls

by Gwen Ihnat

The theme of practically every My Little Pony episode is right there in the show’s subtitle: Friendship Is Magic. This mantra only intensifies in My Little Pony: Equestria Girls, the Mane Six’s first foray onto the big screen (the 1986 release My Little Pony: The Movie featured a different flock of ponies, along with Danny DeVito). The gimmick of transforming the ponies into teenaged human form gives the current show creators (director Jayson Thiessen and writers Meghan McCarthy and Lauren Faust) a new arena in which to play out their favorite friendship subject: the painful gauntlet of high school.

At the end of MLP: FIM season three, Twilight Sparkle became a princess, complete with crown and Pegasus-like wings. Equestria Girls opens with a giant establishing shot that shows us we’re not in Ponyville anymore, but with Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack as they accompany ...

Read more
16 Jul 02:44

Star Trek-Themed Hotel Room

by John Farrier

It doesn't have a sonic shower, but otherwise you'll feel like you're in an admiral's guest quarters on board a Starfleet starship. The Sheraton Hotel in São Paulo, Brazil has a luxurious suite for dedicated Trekkies. You can view more photos of it at the link.

Link -via Nerd Approved

15 Jul 18:47

Batman is a Hoarder!

by Miss Cellania

Although most superheroes could be diagnosed with a mental illness or two, Batman always seems to be a cornucopia of neuroses. When it was suggested to Kerry Callen that the Caped Crusader he may be a hoarder, he was inspired to write a comic about it. It's only two pages long, and what you see here isn't the only joke. Link -via Boing Boing

09 Jul 14:59

Soon Spidey’ll be leaning back, enjoying that complimentary copy of Person

by Josh
Step7283

Isaac, I love that Spiderman flies commercial.

Ads by Project Wonderful! Your ad could be here, right now.

Spider-Man, 7/8/13

Good news, guys! Spider-Man’s ill-thought-out scheme to avoid having to make up some semi-believable explanation to a bored TSA agent about why he has a Spider-Man costume in luggage by wearing his Spider-Man costume and then making a dick of himself by climbing all over the walls has succeeded! Not because of any real heroics, or because he had a plan of any sort in place, obviously, but because somebody in the layer of Homeland Security bureaucracy that a TSA agent can reach via walky-talky told said TSA agent to “make this stop happening in such a way that I don’t have to ever hear about it again.” Still, Spidey is right to celebrate! Any conflict that doesn’t end with him accidentally knocking himself unconscious is a triumph!

Heathcliff, 7/8/13

OK, so I know fish don’t have eyelids and so their eyes appear to be staring at you in unblinking horror long after they’re dead, and that Heathcliff has stolen this dead fish and put a helmet it on it for joke/whimsy purposes as he razor-scooters off. But still, I choose to interpret the scene thusly: that fish is still alive, and is aware that he’s being carted for eating. His expression indicates not so much horror as a bemused resignation. “Oh, so I’m on a razor scooter now, with a cat. Greeeeaat.”

Mary Worth, 7/8/13

“I sure am enjoying this copy of Person magazine! It’s a great resource for finding out what sort of behavior patterns persons find normal. Plus, it’s a magazine that only persons read! Says so right in the name! Why, it certainly wouldn’t be purchased and read ostentatiously by some sort of space-lizard wearing a human meatsuit disguise! Ha ha!”

Six Chix, 7/8/13

Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that the Six Chix were competing amongst themselves to see who could create a cartoon with the most horribly mangled corpse in it. Explains a lot!

This post originally appeared as "Soon Spidey’ll be leaning back, enjoying that complimentary copy of Person" on The Comics Curmudgeon, which is the best blog on the Internet.

21 Jun 02:28

My review of Star Trek Into Darkness

by Wil
Step7283

boo

I don’t go to the movies very often. I think the last time I went to a theatre on purpose was to see the first of the current Star Trek movies, and then I only went because it was a private screening and I could reasonably expect the audience to shut the fuck up, turn off their damn phones, and pay attention to the film.

I planned to write a paragraph here detailing why I hate going to the movies, but I think I just covered it, so let me write a different paragraph instead, about how I finally found a movie theatre that I will go to as long as it exists: the iPic theatre in Pasadena (also called Gold Class, I understand) is the only way I will ever watch a movie again for the rest of my life if I can help it. It costs much more than a typical multiplex, but it is entirely worth it, and this theatre has replaced the Arclight (which makes me sad, but sometime in the last couple of years, Arclight stopped enforcing the shut the fuck up and turn you goddamn phone off policy that had made it such an attractive destination for me for so long).

I’ve really wanted to see Star Trek Into Darkness, but I had resigned myself to not seeing it until it was available to watch in the comfort of my own home … until Stepto, e, and my friend Jen all told me about the existence of a theatre that was actually enjoyable, instead of wall-to-wall bullshit advertising and people who have such little respect for the movies and the rest of the people in the audience, they belong at the gathering of the Juggalos instead of in a movie house. When I saw that one of these theatres was not only nearby but was also showing Star Trek Into Darkness, I looked at my schedule, gave myself an afternoon off, and took my entire family to see it.

We just got home, and the rest of this post will be about my first impressions of the movie. If you haven’t seen it, do not read past the jump, or scroll past the giant picture of Bender B. Rodriguez I’ve placed for those of you who came here directly. I will discuss specific plot points and spoilers. You have been warned.

The short version is: I loved it. I think it’s my favorite Star Trek movie ever, and I can’t wait to see what this crew does next.

-SPOILERS BEYOND BENDER-

bender

Welcome to the rest of the post, person who has already seen Star Trek Into Darkness, or person who gives up his/her/its right to complain at me about spoilers because you were warned. Let’s talk about the movie, shall we?

I could have done without the whole beginning, which felt gratuitous and largely disconnected from the rest of the film to me, but I suppose they needed a way to set up Spock putting the needs of the many ahead of the needs of the one, or the few. I had a very hard time accepting that the Enterprise could sit underwater, but I’m willing to accept it and get over it. The makeup on those aliens was awesome, though.

I’ve read a lot of online criticism that Uhura didn’t do anything useful and was just there to weep and be weak around Spock. I honestly didn’t get that at all. She bravely faces down the fucking Klingons, knowing that she’s risking her life, and then is a badass during the climax when Spock and the ship need her the most. I suppose you can make an argument that she had no business bringing up relationship stuff with Spock in the middle of an important mission, but in a high stress situation maybe things bubbling beneath the surface just come up. It didn’t bother me, but I’m not a woman so I can’t speak to how women feel with the portrayal of 50% of the women in the movie. Yeah, there are two women of consequence in the film, and that is bullshit. So on the other end of the writing-for-women spectrum is the profound failure to do awesome stuff with Doctor Marcus. I was disappointed, and I imagine that there must be deleted scenes that make her much more interesting (I have no problem with Alice Eve’s performance. I thought she did a fine job with what they wrote for her). She’s so goddamn smart, and we know that she ends up inventing the goddamn Genesis device, so it’s a huge waste to make her little more than eye candy for Kirk. Putting her in her underwear was embarrassing to me as a member of the Star Trek Family, and served absolutely no purpose other than to make teenage boys feel weird, like when they climb the rope in gym class. I have no problem with Star Trek being sexy, but make it part of the story for a good reason, Damon Lindelof.

That said, not a single performance rang false to me, and I again wished I could watch this crew every week instead of once every few years.

I loved the pacing of the film. I loved how it looked and sounded, I loved the reveal of Khan, I loved the development of Kirk and Spock’s relationship. I loved the various nods to Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan and the original series. When Kirk and Spock traded places with their counterparts in The Wrath of Khan, it blew me away, and if the movie hadn’t worked so well up to that point, if they hadn’t developed Kirk and Spock’s relationship the way that they did, it would have been laughable. It speaks volumes about the writing and the film as a whole that they could take that risk and have it pay off.

Benedict Cumberbatch is one of my very favorite — excuse me, favourite — actors today, and he brought his brilliant mixture of confidence and strength to Khan in a way that, with all due respect, Montalban never did. Never once does Cumberbatch make the obvious choice, his performance is always subtle, always controlled, and when he finally goes full-Khan, scary as hell. Peter Weller’s Admiral Marcus reminded me of Nicholson in A Few Good Men, without the screaming and chewing of scenery, and his desire to provoke a war by any means necessary in contravention of his Starfleet oath was a fundamental part of what I viewed as the main message of the movie.

The entire film is about doing whatever it takes to protect and care for your family and those you love, and finding a balance between providing that protection in a way that cares for them without becoming the very thing you’re trying to protect them from. It’s a warning about the dangers inherent in letting vengeance eclipse justice, and reflexively choosing the military option at all times. It’s about everything America has done wrong in our post-9/11 world.

In fact, I was subconsciously thinking about life post-9/11 so much that when Khan crashes his ship into San Francisco — another commentary, I believe, on the dangers in creating a weapon only to have that weapon turned right back on yourself (see: The Taliban) — I flinched and my stomach clenched. It affected me in a visceral way that I was not expecting, especially in a Star Trek movie.

If the power of Science Fiction is to force us to confront subjects that are difficult or taboo, I will argue that Into Darkness does it as effectively as anything I’ve seen in years. And this leads me to answer another criticism I’ve heard frequently: Into Darkness doesn’t live up to the ideals Gene Roddenberry instilled in the Original Series and The Next Generation. Again, I can’t disagree with this more strongly. In the original series, against a backdrop of the Cold War, just a few years after the Cuban Missile Crisis, Star Trek did stories about the dangers of unchecked militarization, the dangers of seeing only black and white in a conflict, and the power of the human spirit to put aside petty differences to work together to save us all. Against the backdrop of the civil rights movement, Star Trek dared to show a multicultural crew of men and women working together as equals to bravely explore the unknown. This is the legacy we attempted to live up to in The Next Generation, and though we didn’t always succeed, we still told stories about finding peace in the midst of war, standing up for truth at all costs, and most of all the strength of the family. It is on our shoulders that DS9, Voyager, Enterprise, and the first Star Trek reboot all stood, and Into Darkness does a fine job of respecting this heritage. And even though it doesn’t give us the same moral punch as Tapestry or Darmok or The Doomsday Machine or A Taste of Armageddon, (which it can’t, due to blockbuster film economics among other things), it still addresses a subject that is very relevant to our lives today. It also does that in a way that isn’t preachy, and it does it in a damn entertaining film that may just provide an infection vector for a whole new audience — the next generation if you will — to explore the existing Star Trek world.

But, ultimately, a movie should entertain its audience. It should thrill and delight and surprise us so much we want the whole thing to start over again so we can take the ride one more time. By that measure, Star Trek Into Darkness succeed beyond my wildest dreams.

 

20 Jun 18:02

I Think Bing Might Be A Little Biased

by Jill Harness

As The Next Web has discovered, when you type in the Bing search box "The xbox one is," you get one autofill answer -that it is amazing. Type in the same phrase on Google and here are your results: 

Oddly, when you leave out the word "the" in the search results, the Google results stay mostly the same, but the Bing results start looking more like Google's. Is the word "the" really that importand when it comes to whether the Xbox one is awesome or terrible, or is Bing just programed to try to help out other Microsoft products?

Link

20 Jun 18:01

Coke Bottles Made of Ice

by John Farrier

ice

Ice cold Coke in a bottle is wonderful, but the Colombia division of the ad agency Ogilvy & Mather has gone even further. It made and served bottles of Coke made of solid ice. I'd love to try that!

You can watch a promotional video at the link.

Link -via Unconsumption

17 Jun 17:21

The Emperor of Ice Cream’s regime is crumbling

by Josh
Step7283

Another excellent Heathcliff.

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Heathcliff, 6/17/13

Lots of people like cake, you know. Really like cake. Very few of them use this like of cake as the ideological basis for an independent cake-empire, which declares its separation from the insufficiently cake-worshipping polity to which it previous owed allegiance and then presumably goes on to aggressively impose cake-adoration on its unwilling neighbors. Heathcliff, as ever, does not do anything by half measures.

Crankshaft, 6/17/13

Oh, goodie, it’s been months since Crankshaft journeyed to New York to make vaguely New York-themed puns! But first, in today’s third panel, we’re treated to the precise moment when Pam gives up on trying to make her dad love her.

Spider-Man, 6/17/13

“With the Kingpin in custody” is kind of an obscure way to say “Now that we’ve finished having surreptitious beach-sex, let’s talk loudly and ostentatiously about our supposed romantic entanglements with women,” but I don’t want to tell you guys how to live your lives.

This post originally appeared as "The Emperor of Ice Cream’s regime is crumbling" on The Comics Curmudgeon, which is the best blog on the Internet.

17 Jun 00:12

Funkyverse space-time continuum breach

by Josh
Step7283

Isaac, are you reading Funky?!

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Apartment 3-G, 6/12/13

There are so many things I [love/am horrified by] (this is a single emotion that I trust is familiar to anyone reading this blog) about today’s Apartment 3-G that I can hardly stand it. Let’s start with the idea that Lu Ann lacks the rudimentary linguistic-cultural competencies necessary to parse the concept of a “famous stylist,” which would be pretty embarrassing even if she hadn’t fairly recently been on a reality TV show in the course of which she got a makeover from a famous stylist. Then add in the fact that what had on Monday been an ignorable peach-orange shirt has today suddenly become a peach-orange shirt insanely paired with an all white suit jacket, which, when combined with Lu Ann’s weirdly rubbery-seeming fish-lipped visage, makes her look like a villain from the Adam West Batman. Look, the governor is affectionally patting her mask-face! Haha, this is a [nightmare/delight].

Funky Winkerbean, 6/12/13

Man, Funky Winkerbean is really going there, if by “there” we mean “dragging one of the sad sack characters from Crankshaft ten years through a time-wormhole into the Funkypresent.” Things we’ve learned today: Jeff looks even more beaten down by life and depressed than he does in the Crankpresent; and, Crankshaft still lives, but has been banished to a nursing home, and thus presumably no longer endangers children by driving a bus. What about Jeff’s terrible mother? Has she finally shaken off this mortal coil? I’m legitimately on tenterhooks!

Crankshaft, 6/12/13

Meanwhile, back in the Crankpresent, my shriveled black heart twitched in delight at Crankshaft’s look of genuine panic in the second panel. Is this the moment when the school district decides to let him go from the job that lets him preserve a modicum of independence and dignity? Let’s hope!

Mark Trail, 6/12/13

Oh, man, I’ve been totally neglectful in keeping you up to date with the new storyline in Mark Trail, which involve otter poaching and otter traps and rescuing injured otters, and have been bubbling along on just this side of hilarity. But I think it’s safe to say that the sentence “How are the otters today, Rusty?” crosses that line at a pretty fast clip.

B.C., 6/12/13

The B.C. creative team apparently has only a vague idea of what the “internet” is or how one interacts with it.

This post originally appeared as "Funkyverse space-time continuum breach" on The Comics Curmudgeon, which is the best blog on the Internet.

17 Jun 00:11

Legos Are Getting Angrier And That's Not Funny, Study Says

Step7283

Isaac!

A researcher in New Zealand has examined the tiny toys' expressions. Most of them still look happy, but an increasing number look rather upset. He thinks that might not be good for children. The company says parents can always just the toys' switch heads.

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